The Thoughts of a Lost Lover
by Jiffy the Spiffy
Summary: **Finished** Just a short fic about the Thoughts of a Lost Lover. This fic was inspired by the commentary on 'The Fast and the Furious Tricked Out Edition" Chapter 6-Right to Party & Chapter 10- A Quarter Mile at a Time & Chapter 16-A Hijacker's Hell! Ple


The Thoughts of a Lost Lover  
  
  
  
I Hate Mexico...  
  
I'm hot, I'm poor, and I'm lonely...  
  
All I have is this shitty two-room apartment. No air, no running water. Just a couch, a table, two chairs and a shitty fridge.   
  
I'm working six jobs to pay rent. I'm trying to save up. I'm trying to get money to go back to L.A.  
  
At the end of the month, I have about $120 extra. If I were back in the states, I would have enough money to leave. But I'm still here.  
  
  
  
I ran from Leon. He took me to a hospital.  
  
They operated on me, I coulda killed those muthafuckers.  
  
They all saw me cry, I freaked out when they brought the needle in. Before that, Dom was the only one who knew my weakness, he used to be able to calm me down.   
  
They told me I had three broken ribs, severe head damage, and a punctured stomach.  
  
They operated on my stomach. The scar is low, but my days of baggy pants are limited.  
  
After getting out, I left Leon. I took a bus here.  
  
  
  
'You and me on a beach in Mexico.'  
  
  
  
I believed him. I trusted him, and this is where it got me.  
  
  
  
I don't think any of this is Brian's fault. It's Dom's. It was his great plan. But the blame is also on the rest of the team, we agreed.  
  
Dom was the center of the family. He was everything to all of us.  
  
But we're all replaceable. He showed us that with O'Conner. He showed us that he doesn't need us. He gave us a taste of the fact that we could be out any day.  
  
I could be that one. He'd have no problem finding another woman. Everyone wants him anyway.  
  
  
  
I can't hate him. I want to so bad. I wanna beat the shit out of him sometimes. For everything he's done to me. For everything he's done to the team.  
  
He sacrificed my life, Vince's, Leon's, Jessie's. Even Mia's. All for an adrenaline rush. All for his 'precious' racing.  
  
  
  
He's like a drug to me. The more I get of him, the more I want. It's always been that way. Me fighting for his love and attention when he's around other girls. When we were alone, he was different. He used to hold me and tell me how beautiful I was. But then the skanks came in.  
  
When I think about everything he put me through, its hard to believe I stayed with him. All the anger and the pain, and I stuck it out.  
  
  
  
The Cheating  
  
The girls, that was the hardest. I remember the first time he fucked around. It was years ago, we were just starting out, him and I. We had all gone to the races, he was eying some Asian chick the whole night. I was right next to him and he was checking her out.  
  
Then after the races, he didn't come home. I was the only one who went out to look for him, he doesn't know that though. I looked everywhere. When I got back to the house, it was quiet. I had been gone through the party, looking for him.  
  
I was the only one who cared. I sat up the night, waiting for him. Expecting the worst. Then at 4:00 in the morning, he stumbled in. Drunk as hell, his shirt ripped, and smelling of someone else's perfume.   
  
Turns out it was a Tran. Johnny's sister. Him and Dom had a business deal.   
  
I remember that day like yesterday. I just stared at him, he tried to talk, tried to apologize, but I wouldn't listen.   
  
I hid in Mia's room for the day and cried. I wouldn't cry in front of him, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.   
  
After the drunkenness was gone, he knocked and knocked at Mia's door. Saying how sorry he was and that he'd never do it again. Promising and promising. Eventually, I opened the door. Again I just stared at him, not talking, and not moving.  
  
He looked so sad and so sorry. He swore to me that it would never happen again, and I believed him.  
  
He kept his promise for a year. He stayed with me and we were good, until Stacy. That was the second girl.   
  
It happened basically like the first, this time though, I didn't go to look for him. I stayed home with the feeling of dread. Vince stayed up with me that time. He sat on the couch next to me, telling me all about how Dom was okay, and he wasn't doing what I thought he was.  
  
Then he stumbled in, same as last time. This time I yelled. I screamed at him, it woke everyone up. They were all listening, I knew it, but I didn't care. I must have yelled at him for at least 30 minutes before I pushed past him and walked out the door.  
  
I drove and drove, not knowing where I was going, and not paying attention.  
  
I ended up at the cemetery. The gravestone in front of me read, Anthony Toretto. Dom's dad. I must have sat there an hour, talking to him. I knew he wouldn't answer, but I had to talk to someone.   
  
When I felt the hand on my shoulder it was as if a weight was lifted. Dom was at the cemetery, it was the first time he had ever visited his father, and I knew how hard it was for him. But he did it for me.   
  
When I turned around to look at him, he had tears in his eyes. I still don't know if they were for me or for his father. His next five words were what convinced me to stay,  
  
"I thought I lost you."   
  
After that he didn't fuck around, sure he looked at other girls, but that's Dom.  
  
  
  
The Trucks  
  
Money was always an issue. We needed money to race. We needed money for the store, the house, the cars, the regular shit.  
  
When we were in a tight spot Dom came to me and told me about this idea he had. He told me that he wanted to hijack trucks, steal the cargo, and sell it. I was in shock, he told me that if I wasn't behind him, he'd toss the idea. What was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to tell him no? He'd hate me!  
  
I agreed. I still can't believe I did, but I agreed with him and supported him.  
  
  
  
  
  
The Memories  
  
That's the hardest to think 'bout. All the memories. There always there, I can't forget them.   
  
The good times were great and the bad times were worse. When I think of how far the team goes back, its hard.   
  
Vince and Dom were the best of friends all their lives. Leon was Vince's cousin. Dom hated him at first, but Leon proved himself. Jesse was Jesse, there was no changing that. The first day we met him, he was shy as hell. But also smart as hell too. There wasn't a thing he couldn't figure out, if you gave him time though. He did amazing things, when he had time. Mia was glue, she kept us all together. She cooked and cleaned. I regret the times that I didn't help her. Then there was me. I was always around the Toretto house when I was younger. Mostly for Dom, but the love in that family was amazing. So much different than my house. There was just hate where my family was concerned. Dom hated me when I was younger. I was just always in the way.   
  
Vince once told me that the only reason that Dom was still alive and sane, was because of me. He told me that I kept him the way he was. I was his sane-ness I guess. Makes no sence to me at all.   
  
  
  
  
  
Why I Can't  
  
But I can't hate Dom. There's no way. I love him too much, he's always been there and he's all that I know.  
  
I wait and pray for the day he comes here. Or the day that I finally get the guts to go back to L.A. I mean the cops can't be looking for us forever.  
  
But now I wait, the memories and the thoughts in my head. The thoughts make the hours pass...  
  
The Thoughts of a Lost Lover 


End file.
